They say the sand “sings” when you step on it…I was expecting something along the lines of my favorite inanimate crooner:

But alas, we had to settle for the soothing sounds of the crashing surf instead. I much prefer that anyway.

Also, is it normal to have to pay five bucks to walk onto a beach?  I mean, it ain’t much, but sheesh.

“That’s like changing the name of Logan to ‘Airplane International Airport,’” one friend noted.  Another asked, “where are all the squirrels?”

Of course, as many people know, this small (and relatively unusable, IMHO) plot of land is named after the adjacent and now-defunct (I think?) Squirrel Brand candy company/factory.  Kinda neat that those tasty little Nut Zippers were once made in my home digs.

But what really gets me chuckling is the “playground” within the park:

What exactly are those apparati?  The park’s designers, in their plan, call them “sculptural play elements.”  I’m struggling to figure out how one is to play on this equipment, even with a boatload of imagination.  Is the blue ball on the semi-circular piece supposed to aid in enjoyment?  What, pray tell, is little Timmy to do with a metal ball that’s fixed on a pole six inches off the ground?

Moreover, the fact that I’ve rarely, if ever, seen humans actually use this park leads me to believe that the playground was indeed designed for the little furry rodents rather than for kids.

But at least the presence of soft foam turf around the base of these playthings will ensure the safety of our fuzzy friends should they loose footing (pawing?) and encounter the perilous two-foot drop to the ground.

Hey, the park is pretty, the name is fun, but a note to future park designers: if you’re going to make a playground for kids to enjoy, throw some real equipment on there, huh?

And here’s what the subway “drew” with simple dangling magic markers:

Move over, Jackson Pollock. You’d need a third rail to make this kind of art.

Apparently, some people, as usual, just aren’t reasonable, and find some excuse to freak out over nothing. 

According to this Globe article,

“Water guns’ ties to real guns troubles Nancy Robinson, director of Citizens for Safety, a Boston gun violence prevention coalition, though her group does not have a formal position on squirt guns.

“They can easily be mistaken for a real gun because it’s so prevalent for young people to have guns [?!! -.ed],” Robinson said. “If kids didn’t have access to real guns, there’d be no risk of a police officer seeing a squirt gun and thinking it’s a real gun.”

In May, a Boston police officer wounded a 23-year-old man on Boston Common after he allegedly held up a toy pellet gun made to look like a semiautomatic handgun. The man, Shawn Craig of Boston, was shot in the arm, police said.”

Um, Ms. Robinson, I think it’s pretty obvious when you see 500+ people shooting each other playfully with brightly colored waterguns that it’s not a large gang shooting real bullets. Talk about paranoia.

If you want to irk her even more, there’s another water gun fight later this month; I’m not sure if it’s open to the public or not, but check them out.

Now, I love the Aquarium dearly, and I likewise dearly love Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Ouack, Pack, and Quack, but…can someone explain how ducklings relate to sharks and rays?! 

First of all, ducks are primarily freshwater birds.  And while there is occasionally a shark sighting in an estuarine part of a river, rarely, if ever, would the two species meet. 

Second, rays are generally tropical animals; we don’t have them up here, outside of an aquarium setting (there are some freshwater ray species in Asia, but the Public Garden ducklings are mallards, not Peking Duck).  Rays and sharks do have local cold-water cousins, skates, but again, they’re salt water animals, so…ducklings? 

And it’s not that I’m not specifically bothered by the ad; I just don’t get it.  Why not a photo of the gold dome of the state house?  Why not a photo of the Samuel Adams statue in front of Faneuil Hall?  Why not a photo of the Sox celebrating a comeback win at Fenway?  Those have just about as much to do with sharks and rays as the Ducklings sculpture. 

Hint: it’s the latter. But pretending it was our work is so much fun.

And here’s the shocker: no one joined our tour.  But it’s fun to make up information and deliver it to a brick wall and people who walk through, thinking we’re complete freaks (I suppose I shouldn’t argue with that).  Stay tuned for more…

Yeah, it happened again.  Drawing on the sidewalk with chalk, meeting new people, encouraging others to join?  BUSTED!  

This time, it was in Harvard Square, and I had the pleasure of a ten minute stint with one of the cops patrolling the area who detained me, and then with his chief, while they waited about 25 minutes for a T cop to show up, since I was drawing *GASP!* a smiley face in front of the station for commuters to see, and *GASP!* attempt to cheer them up from the prospect of another dull commute with probably multiple delays.  In retrospect, it’s amusing, and quite apropos that the T cop took so long to get there. 

What’s even more amusing is that when he did show up, he looked at my smiley face drawing and chuckled, and told me that it was funny.  I don’t think the Cambridge po-po guy was expecting this reaction, as he seemed so eager to find an excuse to book me, since apparently I was one of the “punks” working with the kids who hang out outside the station (I don’t even know any of them, but let them draw with my chalk). 

What’s really weird is that as I was being detained, I saw right nearby a guy chugging a Natty Light in plain view and a guy chugging a Heineken in plain view.  And smelled the sweet aroma of our friend Mary Jane.  What did Officer Anti-Punk do?  Continue holding me for drawing a f*cking smiley face. 

The T cop was wicked cool, and is the only reason I’m here typing instead of placing my fingerprints down at the station.  But lesson learned: if you want to drink or smoke pot in public without getting stopped by the po-po, head to Harvard Square.  Just don’t be the type of person who simply brings chalk and joy to random strangers.  There’s no room for that in Cambridge.  Go to Boston instead. 

The employees had their sense of humor crammed straight up their behinds…it didn’t take long before we got kicked out.  What is the world coming to when we get kicked out of a store for having some fun?

We weren’t in any way causing a disturbance (in fact, one of the banana-bearing participants ended up helping a customer when no employees came to assist); rather, we were creating entertainment for the dozens waiting in line for their precious new I-Phones.   I feel bad for the employees who had to kick us out, but damn, that was f’in ridiculous.   

http://www.tbob.net/banana.wmv

When the employee noticed my hidden camera, I had to cover it with my banana (get your mind out of the gutter). 

Although, if he had tried to abscond with my video tape, I would have bolted.  In all fairness, he was quite polite, so I figure he had the Man breathing down his neck, and just had to comply with orders. 

I’m glad I have no facial recognition in my video, because I wish him himself no ill will, but the fact that many of us were forced out by security shows how anal people can be.

We scrambled over there for some of this beloved institution’s last hours, and watched as the entire building seemed to shed a tear.  Even the prize booth was nearly empty.  It’s like they were pre-emptively trying to get us to leave so they could make way for their next tenant, a high-priced chain furniture store.  Gentrification wins again.

Oh well.  Thanks for the fun memories, Good Time Emporium.  Oh, and for the good times!

Today marked the first attempt of the Banditos Misteriosos scavenger hunt throughout Boston.  Holy schnikeys, was that fun.  What better way to spend a Saturday afternoon than by encouraging people to create their own syncronized swimming routine at Frog Pond, or drawing with chalk on the sidewalk of Pi Alley? 

We all had a blast, and we all look forward to Boston Scavenger Hunt 2009.